My first favourite book

There are so many thoughts whirring around in my head. It’s a veritable circus but when it comes to penning it out…. zilch…nada…. limiting beliefs?! Perhaps…

Looking back on my previous posts, sounds more like ” Ayye, such bad / naive writing!” The things we tell ourselves! (Eye roll). Hardly anyone is going to read this. If otherwise, thank you! This will in all probability be read by me, years down the line, only to wonder “Was I that naive?” and laugh at myself. Sigh!

You know who the first writer was, who I was impressed with? Charlotte Bronte! Why?

To a young unformed mind (read 14-year-old), the story of a girl getting away from her unfavourable circumstances by sheer hard work and determination appealed very much to my senses. Looking back, I have always been a sucker for women centric stories, where the woman is portrayed not as a victim but rather an enabler of her circumstances whether good or bad.

As a child, I didn’t know why I was attracted to that book like I now understand. It simply fascinated me. The different landscapes seen through the book, the english countryside, the moors……without a passport to boot …what Fun!

All I had to do was go settle down in a dusty nook of the school library, open the book and get lost in the lay of the land.

I have re-read this book many times over the years and each time it is always another aspect of the story that holds up for me. If that isn’t the mark of a well written story, then I don’t know what else is!

The need to be married / find love seemed to be the sole fulfilling purpose of a woman’s life those days, I guess. I ascribed this to the fact that this was a writer in the long past with her own set of values. I always wonder what and how she would write now if she were around!

The book: Jane Eyre

When the “creativity” bug bites….

Have any of you had this feverish compulsion to learn something new?! To create something?

I have had beading and jewelry on my mind for almost six months now.  Sadly I am settled in a place where people frown upon anything other than gold.

As a result there are hardly a handful of stores selling beaded jewelry let alone stuff needed for making jewelry by hand.

It was a long hunt.Picked most of my tools from Itsy Bitsy, a hobby store in Bangalore (my native).Finally found a good store that sells beads here in Trivandrum. As for the techniques, learnt most of it online, YouTube.  Learnt the proper basics from a sweet lady, Mrs Saraswati Vasudevan who runs a good jewelry store called Tejas here in Trivandrum.

Have started crafting jewelry in my own small way…. But the bane still remains… Where to hunt for wires for wire wrapping?! … So my journey continues….It’s said that when you wish for something  with all your heart, the world conspires in giving it to you…..will find these too soon .

All said and done it’s been a wonderful, awesome and challenging time for me.  Haven’t had this much fun in a long time….It’s always a pleasure to create something with your own hands. So tell me what are you addicted to ?

I am a SAHM by choice!!!

 

Saying am not affected by the rat race would be a lie. Majority of us Indians believe that a career in the noble professions of medicine and engineering is the be all and end all as far as education is concerned. Research is chosen by few folks.

So all said and done I ended up in the clinical research field much to the chagrin of my family who wanted to see me become a doctor. I enjoyed my job though.

Cut to the present. I have a family of my own. I went back to work when my son was 5 years old as a insurance operation specialist. I struggled to achieve a proper work-life balance for more than a year. Just when I thought I had mastered this art, I had to call it quits when my health took a turn for the worse.

Doctors couldn’t diagnose what was wrong with me for at least 6 months after batteries of tests, which lead to an irrational fear on my part that all this could only mean am down with cancer….

Time for stock taking- what was more important ? Money , Career or Family. I voluntarily chose to stay home rather than be a liability and see my productivity levels drop. My problem was finally diagnosed to be vitamin B12 absorption impairment. I have to be on injections lifelong.

But it was a joy for me to finally know what was wrong with me. What appeared to be a storm brewing on the horizon passed away like a breeze. But this gave a chance to change my perceptions and expectations in life.

Even to this day many people come up to me and ask why I am staying at home when am a post graduate and can find work easily. Why am I squandering away all my time and qualifications?

My answer: I and my family are happier now than ever before.

Yes money maybe short at times but that’s OK. It wont kill us.

Period.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be Happy..

The holidays have gone by…family and friends and bonhomie.

It’s back to the grind of existing for another year. Supposedly to be productive.

How productive are we really?

Does one measure this in pay packages or the number of laughs shared with others, perhaps health and happiness? This brings me to the next question. Are happiness and contentment the same?

Are you happy if you are content or are you content to just be happy?!

Personally I detest the way this word “Happy” is used by my people here. Usually elders leave with “Stay Happy” at the end of visits. In my mind this always raises a question? How do you stay happy 24/7.

For me happy is synonymous with fun. Thus fun is usually for weekends. Rest of the days or rather all through my days I aim for contentment……a sort of sense of peace within myself.

That I believe has a lot to do with being true to yourself. Sometimes what you believe in may not necessarily be what others believe too but when you stand your ground you unintentionally end up hurting people I guess….but you know what?! I am at peace with myself at the end of the day. (Maybe that’s why I keep falling sick when put in corporate environs 😉 )

It matters very much really. I can look after my loved ones and myself well only when am at peace and calm within.I really admire people who can smile through all adversities and maintain their positive outlook.Trying to live like that is a step taken each fresh day.

“Even-keeled” is the word that comes to my mind to describe such people. Merriam –Webster defines this as – characterized by stability or consistency.So consistency and stability are really what each of us look for in our lives I guess…at least after 40’s.

But I know there are those out there who abhor consistency. Change is the spice of life. But am sure even those people chase changes and challenges for a particular reason. To seek “Happiness” or what this generation calls the “thrills”.

Whichever way we choose, either through contentment and stability or through thrills n challenges, all of us I believe are collectively journeying towards the same destination- To Be Happy.

Have a great year ahead!

Children & Birthdays Today

I was told that people from  my grandparents’  generation didn’t celebrate their birthdays. At least  not the way we do now. It was more of a day set aside to be grateful to God for bringing one thus far safe and sound.

You visit your family’s place of worship. Pray for another good year and if you are really lucky you get to wear a new dress and have some of your favourite sweets.

Cut back to my parents generation, it was more of happy birthday wishes and cards and chocolate distribution in school or among neighbours. Plus a compulsory new dress. Colour dress to school.

My generation: Party with friends, cake cutting, new dress, FUNNNN big time coz people mattered. For me personally it was Rasna time ( fruit juice).

My child’s generation:

2packets of 80 chocolates each. One for neighbours. One to school

New jeans, New t shirt, new belt new shoes pending for Christmas

Party – theme based at a suitable venue

Customised invites

Birthday cake and snacks – theme based

Return gifts for kids

Entertainment for the evening to be arranged

Who should be invited? ………the more the merrier

The list goes on….. where’s the gratitude? Children these days think its their birthright to have a party thrown for them with all the jazz included.

It took me a couple of years to teach my kid that  the reason parents celebrate birthdays at all for kids is to show their love and share their joy of having such a great kid. So first and foremost gratitude to the maker and the nurturers i.e God, Family and Teachers.

Err…flipside of this pep talk …my son wants to learn to recite the rosary now …a classic case of too much too soon 😉